Teenage challenges of your kids can make you stressed. We look at some of these challenges and simple solutions to deal with them. We can understand some universal principles and learn to apply them to the challenges we face as parents.
Teenage Challenges and Universal Principles to Follow
Parenting and Teenage Challenges
Being a parent can be a tough job and it can be fun too… It depends on how you deal with your children. I’m sure each parent would agree that each stage of growth has its own challenges. I am living through the entire cycle or parenting twice…. I had a teenager and a young child, 11 years apart 😊.
Most parents would say that they find dealing with their teenagers difficult. Have you encountered any of the following?
- Sleeping at 10 pm is old school. The parties start at 10 pm.
- The Bedroom looks like hell just broke loose.
- Hearing your teenager say “You don’t understand…”
- Keeping themselves in their room all the time while at home.
- Stuck to their electronic devices, especially on their phones.
- Reluctant to attend family events.
- Having a simple conversation sometimes is a challenge.
- Every time you try to explain something…….they think it’s a lecture.
Why do our teenagers behave as they do? In order to understand that and find solutions, we need to first understand the Problem. So, let’s first look at the major challenges faced by our teenagers.
5 Major Teenage Challenges
- Low Self-Esteem and/or Body Image
- Stress
- Cyber Addiction
- Peer-Pressure and Competition
- Eating Disorders
Even if you already have a child, bringing up a new child could turn out to be a lot different as no two people or children are alike. Put two people in the same situation you would see that both might react differently to it.
Even though this might be true there are few universal principles that remain the same for all. Universal because they are independent of the country, region, gender, caste, creed, age, or geographical location. They are applicable to EVERYONE!
According to World Health Organization 1 in 17 kids between the ages of 10-19 face mental health conditions. Applying simple universal principles can help you and your kids.
8 Universal Principles to Deal With Teenage Challenges
| 1. Every individual wants to be loved. |
| 2. Each one of us has an invisible board hanging around our necks saying, “Appreciate me”. |
| 3. Each one wants to be heard. |
| 4. Don’t do unto others what you would not do to yourself. |
| 5. Goals keep us going. Get short-term and long-term goal clarity. |
| 6. Do your best and forget the rest. |
| 7. Competition always must be with the self. |
| 8. Treat the body like a place of worship. What you would not offer to the Lord don’t put in your body. |
Sometimes we find ourselves at a loss in handling our teenagers. Most of the Teenage Challenges can be addressed by becoming proactive in their lives and applying universal principles. Let’s look at each one in detail.
Teenage Challenge 1: Low Self-Esteem and/or Body Image
Apply principle 1 – Every individual wants to be loved.
First and foremost, they should feel loved by you. Secondly, the “Before you can love someone else you need to love yourself”,
Apply principle 2 – Each one of us has an invisible board hanging around our necks saying, “Appreciate me”.
Each one of us likes to be appreciated. Appreciate them for what they are and what they do. Make sure the appreciation is genuine and not just superficial. You should mean it.
If you feel the above are not helping. There are a lot of sessions/workshops that help build one’s self-confidence and self-esteem.
“1 in 4 teens in India of 13-15 age group have depression| WHO”
“India is the most depressed country in the world | Mental Health Day 2018 | WHO”
Above are some alarming statistics. If you feel they require special help do not hesitate to take that. But PLEASE, PLEASE don’t ignore it. This, in turn, can lead to other things like eating disorders, depression, drug abuse, drinking, smoking, etc.
Teenage Challenge 2: Stress
Teenagers in today’s world have to deal with a lot of stress, more than what we had to when we were their age. Technology, in turn, has amplified their stress levels.
Apply principle 4 – Don’t do unto others what you would not do to yourself.
Meaning, what you cannot do or endure on yourself or what you would not want others to do to you please do not do that to others.
Don’t increase their stress by burdening them with our dreams and wishes. They have enough of their own. Guide them by all means but don’t pressurize them to do something they don’t want to do. I have seen parents putting undue pressure on their children to exceed in studies, sports, etc. Expose them to different things and let them choose what they want to excel in.
Apply principle 6- Do the best and forget the rest.
Only the effort is in our hands and not the result. We need to give in our best and leave the rest. This needs to be accepted by both the parents and the children. It gives immense satisfaction to know that they have done what could be done.
Teenage Challenge 3: Cyber Addiction
By far the toughest to deal with in this age.
Apply principle 3 – Each one wants to be heard.
Technology has made it easier for everyone to be heard. Each one has something to say and share. Understand this! Have no electronic device time in a day. Take out time from your busy schedules and sit with your teenager and LISTEN more than say much. Have a meal together. Make sure during this “us” time NO ONE uses their electronic devices. Even if there is a call coming, don’t pick it up, unless it is a life and death situation, which most of the time it isn’t. Once they see you do that, they will follow the cue.
Teenage Challenge 4: Peer pressure and competition
Most teenagers would look up to their peer group rather than their parents. They want to do what their friends are doing and build unhealthy competition.
Apply principle 5 – Goals keep us going.
Have them set short-term and long-term goals for themselves. You as a parent can help them but the goals must be theirs. They need to own their goals. This will help them stay focused and they would be able to deal with peer pressure better. Example: They would be able to say no to a party if there is a test coming up if it’s their goal to do well in the test.
Apply principle 7 – Competition always must be with the self.
Instead of competing with others, compete with yourself. Try to outdo what you have done before. Once this is understood they would focus more on themselves rather than looking at others.
Example: You scored 70 on the last test, try to better that score this time.
Teenage Challenge 5: Eating disorder
An eating disorder can be due to a lot of reasons. Any medical condition needs to be ruled out first. Once the medical condition has been ruled out – Ask questions – Is it when they are stressed? Do they not like what is cooked at home? When did they last eat? Do they eat something outside before coming home? What do they like eating? Following are some tips:
- Avoid eating while watching television.
- Having family dinners/meals
- Nutritious food options can replace unhealthy choices.
- Encouraging them to take up at least one physical activity. Fewer than 1 in every 4 adolescents do enough exercise (WHO recommends at least one hour of moderate to vigorous exercise per day), and in some countries as many as 1 in 3 is obese.
Apply principle 8 – Treat the body like a place of worship. What you would not offer to the Lord don’t put in your body.
Would you offer stale food to the Lord? Obviously not….so how can you eat it? Would you smoke in a place of worship? Obviously not…so how can you do it to your body.
Like most parents, I learned on the job :-). Over the period of two years conducted numerous workshops for schools and colleges which gave me additional insight into their behavior and challenges. To make the teenage years easier for both parents and children thought of sharing my learning with the world.
Happy Parenting!
